Artwork by Marumiyan, Fukuoka City, Japan. www.marumiyan.com

Do you enjoy watching other people?

Do you fantasize about wearing costumes or disguises?

Would you like to have multiple passports?

Are you attracted to danger?

Have you ever wanted to know how to “bug” an office or wiretap a phone?

Would you like to surveille?

Can you keep a secret?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you may be Spy Curious.

Maybe you felt these urges but never acted upon them. Maybe you never met the right person to introduce you to the joy of leading a double life.

Well, now you can access all the “confidential information” you’ll ever need to explore the other side, all by yourself, right from your very own home.

Introducing Spy Curious, the online tutorial for the aspiring agent.

Did you know that the term “raid” really started as an acronym for Rapid Assessment and Initial Detection?

There’s so much we owe to the world of espionage.

And what a vast world it is.

Spy Curious is your one-stop source for anything and everything you’ve ever wanted to know about anything and everything other people and countries don’t want you to know.

Whatever it is you’ve wanted to deny you’ve ever done, you’ll find it here.

Clandestine operations. Covert listening. Electronic tagging. Telephone tapping. Concealment. GPS tracking. Night vision. Computer surveillance.

And that’s just the text book stuff.

Spy Curious will also teach you the fundamentals of essential skills like skip weaseling, jarking and funkspieling. Never heard of such? That’s the point.

With Spy Curious, even a dummy can learn every kind of intelligence from HUMINT (Human Source) COMINT (Communications) SIGINT (Signals), ELINT (Electronic), IMINT (Aircraft/Satellite Photography), OSINT (Open Publication Research) or any other INT you’re into.

That’s the great thing about dealing with classified and confidential information. It’s a world of acronyms and lingo that only you and your fellow operatives can understand.

You might be an Acorn carrying Funny Paper for your Uncle who has a Blind Date with a Honeypot with a Roscoe fresh from the Betty Bureau.

Spy Curious also explains the terms you see and hear in the movies in a way that Hollywood wouldn’t. You’ll be able to tell a mole from a rat, a sleeper from a night crawler, and a peep from a perp. You’ll learn very non-domestic activities like “dry cleaning,” “window dressing” and “bird watching.”

Before you know it, you could be part of your very own ring.

And it’s not just the CIA and the KGB who might someday seek your services, but also the ASIO, BND, CBI, DSD, ETA, FSB, GID or untold other organizations representing every faction and combination of letters in the alphabet, including the BVD — and no, we’re not talking about your skivvies.

Speaking of not talking, we’ll also teach you what else not to do if you’re ever burnt, blown, black-flagged or caught in an espionage a trois.

(We could tell you right here, but then we’d have to kill you.)

In a time when nobody can be trusted, Spy Curious is essential training for anyone with a mother, father, sister, brother, boss, employee, secretary, teacher, friend or neighbor. Any one of them might actually be surveilling you.

So, if you’ve ever wanted to be a Secret Agent Man or Woman, here’s your chance. This isn’t Tom Clancy or Austin Powers. This is the real deal.

Experience the excitement of a double life. Join Spy Curious now.

Just enter your name, address, home and cell telephone numbers, your social security number, driver’s license number, three complete credit card numbers including expiration dates and security codes, the passwords to your online banking accounts, your debit card PIN, your employee key card number and any other code that might provide access to your home, automobile or work.

Your personal information is safe with us and will be kept completely confidential. Honest. We’re experts at that kind of stuff. Really.

No? Not buying it?

OK, good. Congratulations. You just passed your first test.

Find out if you can think like a spy.  Click here.

Chew on this: If we view people just as targets, we’ll never appreciate how they operate in the real world. We must observe before we can see.

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